A Cambodian Tale

It's been over a week and feels a lot longer.Started off in Saigon,and spent a pleasant evening watching the boat traffic run up and down the Saigon river,whilst sitting on the roof of the Majestic Hotel.The Rex also afforded great views and a typically stunning Asian sunset,whilst staring at the strange objects around me such as huge,plaster elephants.
The following day was spent walking the streets,museum hopping(my favourite was the Museum of Ho Chi Minh as there was no bugger there,and the building was amazing).Many people make a beeline for the War Remnants Museum,and although interesting and illuminating,is packed with gawping tourists(including me!)and the dreaded tour groups.I actually followed a lonely planet suggestion,which is unlike me,and followed a walking route.It was manageable and I saw some great stuff.However,things like helping two aging old ladies,bent over double with their faces covered by their conical hats,across the maniacal streets and being thanked profusely with cries of "Merci,merci" don't appear in any books and are what make your day.
The next day was a trip to the Cao Dai temple and the Cu Chi tunnels with the wonderful Mr.Minh(not Ho Chi as he kept telling me)who is 64 and was a translator for the 101st Airborne Division during the war.Lots of incredible sights,and too much to describe here.
I also visited Cholon,which is Chinatown,and spent a good while relaxing in pagodas and taking in the sights and smells in particular of the traditional Chinese herb shops.A couple of the pagodas were targeted by the hordes and the flashlights were in overdrive,so I managed to find a really quiet pagoda where I sat for 30 minutes,with the smell of incense filling my nostrils and not a soul came by.Blimey,I was almost meditating by the end.
This is only the Saigon/Ho Chi Minh part(south Vietnamese still call it Saigon,North Vietnamese the opposite)and I haven't even mentioned the Reunification Palace or the Jade Emperor Temple,with their amazing turtles and coi carp.I've just realised that a blog is rather an insufficient tool for describing all that you have seen and done.Their just isn't enough time.Next time will be tales of resorty Mui Ne,with its fantastic white sand dunes and Dalat(where I am writing this from)with its cool climate,views to make you drawl and coffee plantations, silk farms and waterfalls.

I leave for Vietnam in 24 hours en route to visiting the UK,so have litle time for extensive thoughts.
Valentines Day here was the usual surreal experience,with an ongoing debate re:globalization.vs.cultural sensibilities.Prime example.....a conversation I had with a young market stall holder:
Me "Do you know who St.Valentine was,and what the whole day represents?
Market stall guy "It's a new generation now!"

Today is also the start of the Khmer Rouge trials,and so is an incredibly important day in this country.The process is bound to be lengthy,but it is good that proceedings are underway.
I will report on my travels,but am now off to reclaim my passport which has been in the hands of the Vietnamese embassy for three days.

Being a free man I decided it was about time I vacated the city and headed to the provincial south where beaches are aplenty and life runs at a slow pace.
I first landed at Kampot,which was a first for me,and knew that the place is famed for its pepper,which was on all the best Parisien resturant tables 50 years ago,and the old disused casino up on Bokor Mountain which is featured extensively in the film "City of Ghosts".After the usual frenetic bus journey,I made a beeline for an eatery of some sort,and slumped down at the "Rusty Keyhole" a marvellous old colonial building that is run by a fellow called Kristian.I ordered fried shrimp with Kampot pepper,and was blown away.Being a seafood lover I knew I would enjoy the food here,and this was a great start.
Having found an unassuming little place to stay,I wondered what to do for the remaining hours of daylight and decided on a trip up the River Preak Chha up to the Gulf of Thailand.Armed with our speedos we left at about 3p.m.,a fairly motley bunch I must say.I was the youngest traveller on the pirogue,consisting of three elderly French retirees who liked to sing,an ex London policeman of thirty years and an old German hippie who kept dropping his binoculars.I think the two young Khmer kids who escorted us out wondered what they'd got themselves into,but seemed as cheerful and courteous as ever.
After the dusty bus trip it was bliss gently chugging upriver watching women wash clothes,monks studying on the bank and fishermen preparing for the evening catch.I tried to ignore the rantings of PC Plod from London town who couldn't stop yapping and had an obsession with the price of things.Not only that,but he also confirmed the American stereotype of Brits dentistry work,owning a pair of gnashers that were a cross between Ken Dodd and Count Dracula.
Having passed the mangrove swamps we reached the Gulf of Thailand and dropped anchor,with yours truly constantly banging his head on the small thatched roof of the boat.We were encouraged to swim and the two boatmen put on their life jackets....not alarming as this is de rigeur in Cambodia as Khmers are not the greatest swimmers.However what was strange occurred when one of the guys clambered out of the boat,and instead of treading water stood up in about a metre of water!We were in the middle of an ocean,a small one admittedly,but an ocean all the same,so it was a good job I hadn't dived in as I planned to,otherwise I might now be wearing a neck brace.I actually waded over to the only other vessel in sight to say hello to another small group of river people.We headed back at sunset watching fleets of old fishing barges head out to sea,up to four at a time all joined together steered by one operator,and the city felt out of my system.
Back on terra firma I had a pleasant evening on the riverside and met up with a couple of the river people I had chatted to earlier.Unfortunately,one of the perils of eating seafood is bacteria who enjoy nothing more than exploring your stomach and gut,so that night I said hello to Huey and Ralph.The following morning I got a later start than I wanted due to the nights events,and I held back on my plans to rent a bike.Instead,after a very light breakfast,I gingerly walked around town,and felt like I was on a movie set at times.There are numerous examples of the fabulous French colonial buildings still standing in Kampot,and although faded,peeling and generally a bit delapidated are aesthetically pleasing.Together with the 30 degree heat I could have been in a small French town in the south in summer.
Later that day I did rent a bike and headed out to who knows where,taking my time and waving back at the kids who appear from nowhere and delight in bellowing "HELLO!!"at you.
The next day I took off for Kep,which I have been to before,on the back of a moto.Being a Saturday it took a while to find a room,and even my Belgian friend Stephane,whom I used to work with,couldn't help me out."Why didn't you phone?"......
I lucked out and found a bed at the wonderfully monikered "Kukuluku"and was very pleasantly surprised.The room was basic,but I'm not Barry Malone and don't care about that,but what I did have was my own private beach,so still feeling a bit iffy after the bacteria inccident,I sat for a few hours having drinks brought,and reading a very good travel book called "The River's Tale"by Edward.A.Gargan about a former New York Times journalists trip from the source of the Mekong in Tibet,to it's end at the South China Sea on the Vietnamese coast.Written ten years ago,there is a lot that is familiar,but also it is really illuminating to see what can change in this amount of time.
I wandered down to the beach at Kep and ate at the crab shacks and again feasted on cracked crab with Kampot pepper,which melted in the mouth.I was determined not to let a few bugs hamper my enjoyment.Kep is a small place and having arranged a trip to a remote island the following day,at a very good rate,I was frequently asked about this and managed to meet the extended family of Mr.Preoun who was taking me,and was told "Oh I am his brother/cousin/nephew".They seem to be the family in charge in Kep.
Rabbit Island was amazing,although a couple of new shacks have gone up,so development is moving fast.I was speaking to a young fisherman on the island who was proudly showing me his catch of crabs,who said to me,
"I'm opening a restaurant here"
"When?"I enquired
"Two years"was the answer.
So,if you happen to visit Rabbit Island,about 30 minutes out from Kep in 2 years time a new place awaits.I made do with stir fried shrimp.
Kep is changing though,and even in the nine months since I was last there I noticed many new additions,guest houses and development,some of it good,some bad.It's still sleepy though and you can lose yourself quite easily,both geographically and mentally.
Back to Phnom Penh on the Monday,with a salty glow,sunburnt and exercised on a bus sat next to the rudest man ever created who seemed to have no worries about digging me in the ribs regularly,and leaning right across me shutting the window,when the bus had no A/C without enquiring and dozing on my shoulder.He was French,and I returned to my thoughts about confirming stereotypes.I'll be off somewhere again soon.

In deference to the recently deceased Patrick McGoohan,I am now no longer a number.Actually that's being a little too dramatic as it implies that my time at IEL,the school that I worked at on and off for nearly two years,was one of sufferance(is that a word?)toil and deprivation.This is not at all true,as I enjoyed most of my time there with the odd blip and was quite wistful when it was time to leave.My last day was yesterday and I was showered with affection from both staff and students,and was even given some expensive perfume,although maybe this is a comment on my personal hygene.
However,I am now free to pursue some activities and as sad as I was to leave,the world is now my oyster for the short term future.I will try to explore more of the country and am planning to see more of the neighbouring countries before returning to the UK for a short time and jumping back on the working treadmill.It's all quite exciting,and although balancing financial stuff is something to think about,I'm not going to let that stop me.How could I live in this part of the world and never go anywhere?It would be madness I tell'ya,madness.
I stayed up late to watch the Obama inauguration this week(midnight our time)as it's always good to witness that much overused phrase this week,a piece of history.The whole thing has not gone unoticed here,and there were "Bye,Bye Bush"parties held in local bars and a definite sense of hope pervaded the air.Whilst watching I moved between channels which were mainly BBC World News,CNN and Channel News Asia and the diference in style was quite apparent.CNN and the peculiarly named Wolf Blitzer(he really should be lead singer in a heavy metal band with a name like that)at least showed all that was going on,but still talk to us as though we are still in kindergarten,pointing out the bleeding obvious at any given opportunity....e.g."We are watching Barack Obama and George W.Bush walking down the steps of the White House".....really,you don't say,I thought it was Cheech and Chong.Talk about using narrative for the sake of it.As for BBC,what can I say?Have the standards of broadcasting slipped that much?Interminable waffling,cutting away from the spellbinding scenes that were before us to look at Huw bloody Edwards,and what passes for debate these days.It was noticeable that BBC World News was using the terrestial coverage from the UK,as there is a definite dumbing down when it comes to regular BBC coverage.Eventually I settled on Channel News Asia who really just concentrated on the moment.Perhaps because they don't have the budget of a BBC or CNN it resulted in a simpler,gimmick free presentation.I actually wish it was being shown on ABC Australia as there hourly news programmes are by far and away the best news coverage I have seen on TV here.I'm not sure why it wasn't on......perhaps because it was four in the morning in Oz.
Anyway,I thought the whole thing was riveting and the President's speech was up to his usual standard.I really think the importance of a good orator can't be emphasized enough.After years of stupid George and sleep inducing Gordon it's a refreshing change.

Only one week left at work,exams loom and I'm getting restless.This past week was possibly one of the longest I've experienced here,not helped by the fact that I had laryngitis(sic)and felt under the weather all week.Having no voice is not to be recommended if you are trying to teach,although there were those who were grateful.Otherwise it was a quiet week and apart from arguments with financial institutions,uneventful.
One thing I'm always grateful for here in PP is the wide range of DVDs available,and the way we can get the latest releases straight away.Recently it has been particularly good,due in some part I think to the fact that it is awards season.I've noticed on a couple of films the message "For awards consideration only"scrolling along the bottom of the screen!There has been a slew of very good films including "Grand Torino","Milk","Frost/Nixon" and "Che" but the movie I watched last night blew me away."Slumdog Millionaire" is perhaps the best movie I have seen in many years,and although I have always been a fan of Danny Boyle,this is something else.The premise of the film is fairly basic,and in reality it's just a love story,but the sheer scope and ambition of the film is breathtaking.Unknown Indian actors are mesmerising,especially the child actors at the beginning of the piece and although I don't often revisit films,but I will be doing so with this one.
Short one this week,and I'm off to buy my godson a birthday present as he reaches the dizzy heights of two years old on Monday.

As I was almost involved in a pile up of bicycles and motorbikes,it made me think......why do all the kids in PP ride bikes that are four sizes too big for them?Every day I see some poor teenager/child tentatively careering their way down the street,wobbling from side to side and really feel like saying "smaller bike,smaller bike!".
Anyway,enough musing about two wheeled transport,and onto more serious stuff.'Winnie the Pooh'to be precise.This week at work I was offered a small stuffed toy,which resembled the honey eating bear but was obviously a fake.'Winnie the Pooh'is huge here,and is seen on bags,t-shirts and every shop selling tat.I've yet to fathom why he is so popular,and it seems that only certain Disney characters are known.Mention Cinderella and you are met with blank stares akin to me telling you all about Preap Sovath.Usually TV has a lot to do with the popularity of western cultural icons but in the case of the poohmeister I've yet to see any evidence on the tube.'Tom and Jerry','Pink Panther'and other culturally enriching examples are loved purely and simply because of the gogglebox.
Watching TV is a big occupation here and they are everywhere.We even have one in the general play area at school,and every morning at 8a.m. when I arrive I am greeted by slack jawed urchins all comatose in front of the telly watching some kind of animated American drivel.It's actually quite depressing and sometimes I stand in front of the wall mounted TV and say "good morning"but am met with howls of abuse.I have suggested that perhaps the goddamn thing should be removed but I'm looked at as though I should be placed into care.I have come to realise that I'm waging a losing battle.
The TV issue is symptomatic of a problem that I have when teaching here i.e. creative thinking,initiative etc.etc.Sometimes it's like banging your head against a granite wall trying to get the kids to think for themselves,and even just to guess when they are not sure of an answer.Education is extensively memory based and there is a heavy reliance on exams and testing.Not really my cup of tea,especially given my historical aversion to exams but I'm getting there slowly but surely.
I only have two weeks left at work,and then I'm taking a well deserved break......I owe it to myself!The plan is to see some more of Cambodia and then shoot off to some South East Asian destinations such as Laos and Vietnam,before returning to a rather grim sounding UK for a short while to try and cheer everyone up!Has anyone noticed how sad everyone seems at the moment?I know I haven't been in the UK for a year but it can't be that bad can it?I guess I'll find out.

An eventful start to the New Year to say the least.After enduring rain,rain and yet more rain on New Years Eve,yesterday on leaving work I was informed that three bombs had been discovered not too far away,and that this was the reason for the chaotic traffic.
Back to New Years Eve,when with some trepidation,I stepped on to a less than safe looking boat to spend the night with some Khmer friends,and have my ears assaulted by music which was louder than hell itself.(I've just read this back and realize I sound really,really old).
It was an enjoyable night,and was only spoilt by the terrible weather.It doesn't rain here in December,and after weeks of dryness and dust everywhere,of course the heavens decided to open on the 31st.Not only did we get the usual torrential stuff,but there was also UK-style drizzle,the first time I have encountered this,and at one point I was actually shivering as the temperature dropped to a bone numbing 17 degrees.I know,I know,I can hear all the cries of "my heart bleeds",but believe me it was incredibly annoying.
Anyway,before I turn into Michael Fish,the main part of the night was good,and it was an eye opener as well.I managed to stay onboard and although was asked to steer at one point,I declined the offer as my mind flashed back to previous times,so I remained remarkably responsible considering the occasion.The speakers on board were large to say the least and you could feel the vessel vibrating as the loud bass lines reverberated around the river.I wandered home drenched,but calm and content.
At around 4p.m. yesterday I started to notice that the traffic was heavier than usual outside,but thought nothing more of it.I then got a phone call from one of my students saying that her normally ten minute journey was taking her over an hour and that she would be late.On leaving at 6.30 it was worse than ever,and I asked the font of all knowledge Mr.Dakun what was going on."Blah,blah,blah,bomb,blah,blah...."."What's that you say?Bomb?".I had heard a dull thud at about 5.45 but put it down to construction or fireworks.It turns out that three bombs had been discovered near a government ministry,and the thud I heard was one of them being defused.This came on the same day that the Prime Minister's daughter was getting married,and five days before "Victory Day",a national holiday(another one!)which commemorates the ousting of the Khmer Rouge on January 7th 1979.This is actually a controversial holiday,as many political parties view this day as the beginning of ten years of occupation by Vietnamese forces,and regard October 23rd as the true holiday,which was the date of the signing of the Paris Peace Accords.Also controversial is the fact that on Wednesday there is an event at the Olympic Stadium being attended by 60,000 people which will comprise of 20,000 students wearing the ruling party's shirts,caps and logos etc.There have been quotes flying around saying that this kind of thing would only happen in North Korea,and that communism is returning to Cambodia.
Anyway,the bombs were defused,led in part by the Prime Minister's son recently back from completing an economics PHD at Bristol University,although why this would qualify him to deal with a bomb threat I'm not so sure!All is back to normal today and I can concentrate on preparing exams.......oh goody.I'm off to finally buy a crash helmet as on Jan 1st it finally became law that you must wear one,or risk a 3,000 riel fine(about 50 pence)and I must admit that I have noticed a lot more riders wearing one,and even Ly my faithful motodop man appeared on the 2nd wearing one,the first time in nearly two years I have seen him with one so it must be serious.
Happy New Year.

Christmas Day was unlike any I have ever experienced.As I have previously mentioned,being a Buddhist country,the day is not a holiday here,and I went into work as usual.However,there the similarity to a normal working day ended and the whole day was spent playing games with the kids,being given ties as presents and having candy thrust into my hands at any given opportunity.It was actually a very pleasant day,and had the added bonus of being open i.e.the city did not shut down for the day.In fact,coming home from work the traffic was horrendous as the entire population of teenagers took the chance to head out with friends and loved ones and cruise around in various forms of transport.I have only seem the volume matched during the water festival and it came as a bit of a surprise.
I headed for the FCC to meet my buddy Charlie,and we splashed out on a sumptous Christmas dinner.Three courses were served and as the meal progressed it got better and better.The starter of lobster rock cakes was ok,although a tad bland in taste.Then came the main course of turkey on a bed of local veg. with stuffing and a tasty sauce.This was indeed a flavoursome dish and was filling in the extreme.Finally came the highlight....the dessert.A chocolate cake creation with local fruits and mascarpone cream which really did melt in the mouth.It's been many years since I have had as good a pudding and with the free glass of Kir Royal went down a treat.We both agreed that we'd made a good choice and any feelings of melancholy were wiped away due to the fabulous meal and smiles of the staff in their ridiculous Santa outfits.Ok,my ability as a restaurant critic is questionable but I hope I have conveyed how I felt about the meal.
Upon arriving home I phoned the homestead and was greeted by my sister sounding her usual cheery self.The conversation with my six year old nephew and three year old niece was one of contrasts,as first my niece Yasmin told me that she loved me....being the cynical old hack that I am, I maintained a stiff upper lip!....and it demonstrated to me how much her speech has improved as the last time I spoke to her she sometimes spoke in riddles and code.Then Joshua my nephew proceeded to wish me a Happy Cristmas and called me fart face!Six year olds eh?It was a fairly brief call,and the males present seemed more interested in getting back to the table football game that was a present for Josh.Totally understandable in my book.After all,who wants to speak to an old fart of an Uncle.
Definitely a good day,and I recommend changing things sometimes when it comes to Christmas festivities.

In the grand tradition of David Lee Roth's jumpsuit and Sonic the Hedgehog,I was persuaded to don the ultimate outfit for the school Christmas party.Yes,I dressed up as Santa Claus.Now as scary a prospect as this is for some of you,the kids seemed to actually enjoy my appearance.Four hours dressed in a costume not designed for a tropical climate was challenging but I managed surprisingly well.
I was also given a rather small sack(for which I'll be seeing the doctor next week)and was mobbed every time I tried to hand out presents,so had to be a rather strict Santa at times.The whole day was rather surreal with the sound of 'Jingle Bells'being sung in Khmer,musical chairs being played by the kids and a six foot two Santa being grabbed at by all and sundry.It still takes some getting used to that I am in a Buddhist country and yet there are celebrations going on.The cultural invasion of the capital is staggering,and many Khmers have no idea what the whole thing is about.Anyway,I'm not here to lecture or prophesise,my job was just to entertain the kids and to ensure a good time was had by all.I had to be careful mind you,and was careful not to ask the older female students if they had been a good little girl this year.I thought it sounded really too creepy!!
Once the day was over some of us headed off to an old mansion that has been bought by the FCC group to watch a Ho Chi Minh based band called "Bad Neighbors".I have seen them before and was not really that excited but was keen to see the building and was not disappointed.The place is in a glorious state of disrepair which will probably not last for long and with a perfect evening temperature,subdued lighting and plenty of space made for a great evening.
Anyway for those people who read this pile of tripe I would like to wish you all a Happy Holiday and New Year,as this might be my last entry before the festive season.Think of me as I toil away on Christmas Day.....all together....aaahhhh.Ok,you can put away your minature violins now.
HAPPY CHRISTMAS.

On Saturday I travelled around the world.Well,actually entered different rooms that represented a different part of the world.This involved donning a kimono in Japan,eating sushi in Korea and taking part in a parade as part of a UK delegation.Yes I was at ISPP for the "Wonders of the World"celebration,a kind of Christmas party celebrating all things cultural from different parts of the world.Various classrooms were transformed into a particular country,and being an international school were all well attended by their native inhabitants.
My nearly two year old godson had a whale of a time and is a particularly talented dancer and rhythmic clapper.He loves music,and as we watched performances from Korean drummers,tahitian dancers,khmer singers and many others he wowed the watching masses with his delightful moves.I did feel a little out of place as I was one of the only people not to be dressed in some kind of national costume.Perhaps this was why I wore a kimono for the very first time and joined my godson in the extremely comfortable outfits as we did our Japanese impersonation of Little and Large.
As Christmas approaches I am wondering what I should do on the big day.I will be working,remember it's not a public holiday here,although I use the term "working"loosely as I'm told that small parties usually take place all day,so don't feel too sorry for me.Now,I could choose from a variety of places that are offering sumptuous meals ranging from $20 to $150,or I could eat noodles at home!Although there are fake trees wherever you look,and I walk into the local pharmacy and here Roy Wood and Wizard belting out "I wish it could be Christmas everyday"there is none of the pre-Christmas hype and madness here so it doesn't feel so different than usual.That and 85 degree temperatures with none of the winter light all add up to a feeling of ho hum rather than ho ho!
I received my first Christmas card from a student a few days ago.....yes they exist here too.....which was actually very sweet.It was handmade and inside asked questions such as "Are you a good person?" and "Are you happy?".I was then instructed to give the answers by Christmas!
We also have our own Christmas party on the 20th and afterwards a few of us are going to a fabulous old colonial mansion that has been bought by the FCC group to see a band called "Bad Neighbour"play so Im sure I'll be in for a hectic day.